we will be heroes

the fifth stage: Trials & Tribulations

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 08:38:44 -0400

the fifth stage: Trials & Tribulations

too hot, too much traffic

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 02:23:46 -0400

too hot, too much traffic

gas guzzler

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 02:21:22 -0400

gas guzzler

unobtainium near the Iron Gates

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 03:20:37 -0400

unobtainium near the Iron Gates

wiley in the sun

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 03:15:12 -0400

wiley in the sun

ridin through tunnels along the Danube

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 03:03:44 -0400

ridin through tunnels along the Danube

all over serbia they post these announcements of who has...

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 02:54:50 -0400

all over serbia they post these announcements of who has recently died in the area

cookin dinner in the park

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 02:52:03 -0400

cookin dinner in the park

the fourth stage: belly of the whale!

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 13:09:31 -0400

the fourth stage: belly of the whale!

stage three of the Hero’s Journey!

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 15:37:43 -0400

stage three of the Hero’s Journey!

Wiley chillin in Grein

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 05:34:34 -0400

Wiley chillin in Grein

Dunno When / Donau Wien

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 05:32:10 -0400

Hello Friend,

There is an uncanny universality to hostels - certain characteristics that exist in every establishment in every country. The same “Funky” interiors with abstract-neon-candyland murals on the wall, perhaps upcycled lighting fixtures, a bar in the basement with graffiti-esque menus for Jaeger Bombs by the batch and beer by the bucket, the ubiquitous Australians exorcising a lifetime of shots and bad decisions in a few decadent months, and a lonely frenchman here or there. Even now, as I sit in the computer lounge staring at the laminated signs affixed to the frame of the computer screen explaining “how to print!” or “how to type an @ symbol on a German keyboard” (by the way it`s Alt GR + Q) I can´t help but think that somewhere there is a Hostel mothership sending out little hostel seed pods to enterprising and naive Europeans in cities across the continent. “C´mon, Mon Cheri, let´s start a hostel - it´ll be so exciting and fun!” I can hear them plead in an infinite chorus - with a harmony of “oh my god this was a terrible idea” fluttering a couple octaves above. Yes hostels are, if anything, predictable, but right now all I say is thank God. It’s clean, familiar and there’s a pool table.

We spent the past week riding along the Danube River passing the occasional Cathedral or Castle ruin, hopping ferries back and forth from the North Bank to the South when our path started to peter out. Although (Thanks again to Tony Baker) we knew that to continue our heroes quest we had to get out of Germany and into Austria we we´re sorry to part with the Deutschland because - and I mean this in the least critical way - there is something wrong with Austria. Not technically, or materially, but fundamentally and abstractly. We rode through countless little villages and a few sizable towns that had all the markings of life; well watered plants, tidy window boxes, dogs in the front yard, but we saw barely any inhabitants, few open stores and no one between the ages of thirteen and forty. It felt like riding through the set of a zombie movie but the zombie virus was mild and only affected the very young or middle aged and everyone else had decided to split for the coast. However the schnitzels were tasty and the beer was cheap and, well, that’s about it for Austria isn’t it. Oh, we once saw a guy wearing lederhosen - which was nice.

So finally after a week of riding we’ve reached our first city - Vienna. Originally named Ayr Hill, VIenna, VA is now home to the Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, Alex Albrecht (Digg.com’s popular host of the podcast Diggnation), and a very moving memorial commemorating the tragic death of Brigadier General Robert C. Schenk of the Confederate Army. Vienna, Austria is a lot like Vienna, VA but also different in a few ways. It’s in europe and it’s full of grand-old-imperial-looking-fancy-goldenish-stone-made-eagle-covered—don’t-have-this-in-America buildings, lot’s of them, everywhere. We’ve got a couple days off to explore the city, relax a little and see if we can find some fun - a nice break after cycling in the rain for seven days. On the docket is also a long list of errands to run including some spare bike parts I forgot and what seems like everything one might need when traveling, which Wiley forgot. Hope that you are all enjoying yourselves wherever you are… Much love from Vienna, the biggest little town in Virginia!

the male chastity belt in our room

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 04:58:13 -0400

the male chastity belt in our room

building bikes in Munich

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 04:55:51 -0400

building bikes in Munich

Kickstart!

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 15:53:10 -0400

If you haven’t already (and thank you so much to the many of you that have!) please consider supporting this project…A little goes a long way, for example:

$10 could mean:

- a nice cozy spot in a campsite for the night (no wild-camping in landmine territory!)

- enough time in an Internet cafe to upload a video

- replacement tire, wiley blew one out today : (

- a bribe for a Serbian policeman when we invariably get arrested for doing 100 km on our bikes in a 65km zone

Hope you all are enjoying your summers!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/289396009/well-be-heroes

love,

Cooper & Wiley

Tony Baker lends a guiding hand!

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 01:48:19 -0400

Tony Baker lends a guiding hand!

Video

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 00:59:27 -0400

where we are seems to be changing

Tue, 05 Jun 2012 01:00:00 -0400

Hi there,

Wiley is asleep now (it’s about 5:30 am) but I seem to still be suffering from jetlag. We’re lying in a little bed in a little hotel in a little town in Germany, somewhere near the border of Austria along the river Inn. The lights been coming in through the window stronger over the past hour, and as it does some terrible application on my brothers computer adjusts the white balance of the computer screen with it - compounding the confused-by-it-all feeling of my jetlag and the desire to go back to sleep. But I’m awake.

To set the scene there is a tented metallic clothe over the bed, hanging off a feaux wrought iron hook sticking out from the wall. Next to the hook on the left there are four cartoonish sculptures of musical notes, golden chromed, affixed haphazardly to the wall. On the right there hangs, what I can only assume is, a medieval male chastity belt/dick torture chamber. It looks like regular underwear made out of metal but has a chainmail penis sleeve hanging off of the front and a mysterious hole in the back. A few things to note about the device:

- the hole in the back of the thing is cleverly barbed outwards but not inwards allowing for free evacuation from the body, but challenging entrance into the body. It reminds me of the one-way salmon traps that the Ohlone would weave to trap the fish as they swam up river, but not for fish.

- the penal sleeve at the front of the undies is huge. Like really, really, cartoonishly big.

- the whole affair is attached to a nice medieval style plaque with a bunch of writing on it. The writing is of course in German and a mystery to me so I can only guess that it explains why this penis torture device is suspended three feet above my brother’s sleeping head in an otherwise charming hotel.

The end of last week was spent in anxiety - running errands all over the Bay Area, trying to say goodbye to as many friends as possible in as little time as possible, preparing our house for the people that will renting it for the next couple of weeks and getting our bikes close to some sort of functionality. But finally we headed to the airport and, after a harrowing 40 hours of missed flights and lost bags, we eventually found ourselves in Munich. We had come to hunt down whoever sent us the mysterious parcel, or perhaps to find another clue. We knew that it wouldn’t be flat-out easy, but we thought that something would jump out at us - that there would be a chaffeur with a ‘Rogers Bros’ sign at that München International Airport, or that the Information lady in town would have something waiting for us, or that we’d see some object that only had unique significance to us, maybe something from our childhood that only we would know, and that above that object would be a sign that read:

<———- ; )

But there when we got to Germany we found no mysterious signs, or chauffeurs, or smiling faces (emoticon or otherwise). So we went to the beer garden, and visited the cathedral and followed the München ghost tour - all the obligatory highlights for two directionless Americans in Munich. On the upside I did meet the most beautiful woman in the world (Her name was Irena and she was enormously fat, and short and made of stone. She was missing all the fingers on her hands and the toes on her feet (maybe they were never there to begin with) but she didn’t seem to mind. The disfuguration gave her limbs the appearance of fleshy flippers, tools for soft verbs like smoothing, and rubbing, and kneading…) Anyways she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and I was sad to see her go but we had come here with a purpose, and we would not be distracted by porcelain women, or deterred by a seeming lack of any direction.

Regardless, our second morning in Europe things we’re desperate - I had an angry red spider bite on my left calf that hurt a little when I touched it and Wiley had just realized that a Gyro meat tower is not a ‘part’ of the animal, but rather many parts stuck together like chipboard - we were desperate. Quite luckily, that morning we checked in with the internet and received an exciting comment on Facebook from my wise friend Tony Baker. He, with profound insight, had seen our first video and had noticed that it “kinda looks like the arrow said Austria”. Yes! He was right! Despite our endless preparation and strict adherence to the mysterious diagram we’d received in the mail - we had miscalculated and landed some 405 km to the west! Thank god for Tony Baker!

Hopeful again we set out yesterday on our trusty bikes. By bike path, road and autobahn we are headed east - towards Vienna - towards our next clue.

And now, the church bells of Muhldorf are ringing outside, Wiley is snoring next to me, and the morning sun is just glinting off the hinge of a penis sleeve above him - we should have never have come to Germany, we know that know, but we are rectifying our mistake mile-by-mile and even so, it has been kind to us in a cold and formal way. Except for Irena, the least cold and most beautiful creature this side of the Danube!

help us make this happen!

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 18:46:20 -0400

we’re really excited about this project but we need your help to make it happen! donate to our kickstarter if you can!

Photo

Tue, 29 May 2012 15:27:00 -0400